Rant on
This is a subject that holds a lot of confusion for a lot of people so I’m going to try to clear things up a bit. First of all, far too many people get respect and admiration mixed up. Most are worthy of respect, very, very few are worthy of admiration. Respect is being polite to someone because they’re a human being. It has nothing to do with age, education, wealth or any of the other excuses fabricated to command special treatment.
Below will be a list of attributes society has set out which requires one to behave in a respectful manner towards another. Or so I’ve been told. I will attempt to disprove each and every one and illustrate why this kind of thinking is completely irrational. It all appears fairly simple to me, you get what you give. My criteria for showing respect to another is based on pretty much one thing. How do you treat your fellow members of the human race? Do you bow down to somebody for no other reason than their bank account has more zeroes than yours, then turn around and treat a waitress like shit?
Respect denied.
Do you grovel at the feet of the guy with the Mercedes yet feel contempt towards a homeless person?
Double denied.
My admiration is projected towards those possessing a strong moral character including honesty, compassion, empathy, integrity, tact, diplomacy and plain old good manners. I’m not in any way saying I have all those, (I’m especially lacking in the tact department), but that’s what I’m working towards. If you do have all or many of these qualities, chances are you treat each and every single person you come in contact with as an equal. Exactly as it should be. If you’re lacking in many of these attributes, then you’ve probably placed yourself on some imaginary pedestal that only you can see, and you’ll go through life wondering why everybody else can’t see it and why they don’t act accordingly. That’s a real rocky place to put yourself. That pedestal will fall one day or somebody may just kick it right out from under you. Just keep in mind no person in history has managed to maintain such a lofty and self-imposed perch for any significant amount of time.
A truly spiritual and caring being would never in a million years demand anything, let alone respect and honour, and especially not admiration. A truly spiritual being would be content with the knowledge that they’re helping others and doing what they can for the betterment of all, without the need for accolades or plaques or any other sort of trinket to remind them of their greatness. If that’s your criteria for respect then you better look again. You see the paradox is, the ones who truly are helping don’t want these trivial tokens or tax write-offs, so you’ll never really know who the genuine benefactors are. I can offer up a clue, they’re not the ones who throw money around to those they feel are less fortunate. They’re the ones who will take time out of their lives to have lunch with a homeless person, sit and chat to a lonely senior or give away something they really like for no other reason than somebody else needs it more. Those are the people you should watch out for and strive to emulate. Look up to the guy who says “Sorry, I cannot attend your $1,000-a-plate fundraiser, I’m taking a homeless stranger to dinner”.
Funny story. I used to work with a woman whose family owned an oil company, they’re stinking rich. She was famous for tossing money at the downtrodden (in her view), then strutting around like she’d saved the planet. One of the best days in my life was the time the downtroddenee looked up at her and offered the money back stating “You look like you need it more than I do”. Indeed she did.
Okay, here’s the list and please keep in mind this does not apply to every wealthy, aged, master of bachelors of doctorates. There are exceptions to every rule.
Age
Who came up with this one? Somebody old no doubt. As was explained to me, we’re supposed to respect our elders because they’ve lived longer which supposedly makes them wiser. Hello? I know some pretty moronic people who happened to have been born before me, as I’m sure we all do. You can go on believing what you’re told to believe or you can simply open your eyes and look around.
Maybe I just know way too many control freaks who seem to be under the impression this is a sound tactic to achieve their objectives. Or maybe I’ve known way too many people who are evil and manipulative and chronologically older than me. It might be that I’ve known a lot of kind-hearted and courageous young people, but whatever it is, this makes no sense to me whatsoever. I am not without compassion and fully aware of the many afflictions and diseases one may acquire with age resulting in a fair bit of crankiness. I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the ones fully in control of their faculties who inflict pain and suffering just for fun. Mean young people normally don’t get nicer with age.
And what about honour thy parents? You mean the father who repeatedly rapes his two-year old? Is that the guy I’m supposed to honour? Sorry, does not compute. That one solitary statement has caused more grief to more people than one can even imagine.
If you want to factor in reincarnation, the chronological age theory goes right out the window. That 8-year-old you contemptibly call a wise-ass (only because he knows more than you and it pisses you off), could in actuality be on his 5th or 10th or 50th go-around. 50 lifetimes of knowledge does not equal 80 years on this plane.
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Money
If you respect somebody just because they earn or have more money than you, then maybe you should reconsider your priorities. If a person is born into money, what exactly does that have to do with what kind of human being they are? As far as earnings go, I think most of us know by now it’s rarely what you know or hard work that allows for financial advancement, it’s all how you play the game.
I’m having a hard time coming up with a good example of a true humanitarian versus a person who merely gives the illusion of humanitarianism. The latter is easy, they’re a dime a dozen. It’s the former I’m having trouble with due to the above mentioned paradox. Unwealthy benevolent people get no press, you’ll just have to believe they do indeed exist. Here’s what money and the obsession for the most toys does for you. It’s also a perfect example of how imaginary pedestals can go tumbling down. Wow this should be a halloween costume, scared the crap out of me!
Her volatile temper and intolerance to disobedience became legendary. There were hundreds of accounts from ex-employees concerning incidents where Leona would threaten and verbally abuse them before being terminated for the slightest infraction. She was also known to extort money and services from employees and business suppliers, under threat of losing their positions or her as a client. Employees were even known to tremble out of fear in her presence because of her unpredictable behavior. Leona's notorious moods and unpleasant character earned her the nickname, the "Queen of Mean." Her reputation and unethical business conduct would eventually prove to be her undoing.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/scams/leona_helmsley/indexb.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Education
So you spent a shitload of money to listen to a bunch of people tell you what you could have read for free at the local library. After that a governing body comprised of the aforementioned self-imposed pedestal-keepers deems you to be smarter than the average bear. You are then bestowed with some letters to tack on to your name and voila! Instant respect!
Somebody’s going to have to explain this to me because I just don’t get it.
For example, in the industry I’ve been employed in for 20-some years, these are some of the so-called professionals with lots of letters I have known. There’s the guy who admitted to having cheated his way through university, he actually gets quite a laugh out of it, but since his dad has a lot of pull he has a real cushy job. Absolutely everybody who knows him (even the ones who know he cheated), still look up to him like a god. And he’s making big decisions that affect an entire city.
Then there are the several other professionals I have caught in the most transparent and boldfaced lies, yet they won’t give up the chance to tell you all about the ethics classes they apparently attended (wonder if the cheater cheated his way through ethics class too?) Or the other professional I went to because of a serious problem with a co-worker, who then proceeded to blab everything I said to that very co-worker. The problem was the co-worker was stalking me. Seriously. I was being followed and harassed at home and cornered in the hallway with threats to my well-being. I know it sounds like grade 5 but it wasn’t, there was no bike rack to meet at during recess. Naturally her knowing I went to a “higher-up” did not at all alleviate the problem.
I’m not even going to get into all the backstabbing and manipulating and ruining of people’s lives I witnessed just because the professionals thought it was entertaining. I’m pretty sure they had score cards with notches for every life they sent into a shambles. I can picture them sitting around sipping martinis and laughing while they compare their achievements.
Does anybody really understand the meaning of professional? Basically you’re getting paid for what you do, simple as that. Professional is not a synonym for superior.
And genius is not equal to education. You cannot acquire it, you either have it or you don’t. If you have it you were born with it, nothing you did made you that way. Genius is no different than an inherent artistic ability or any other gift you were lucky enough to have received when they were doling out gifts. Attempting to garner praise for this bequest is nothing more than taking credit for someone else’s work. Genius MUST be laced with equal portions of humility otherwise you’re nothing but an arrogant asshole.
To stress this point, just think of what always gets said about every single serial killer. Highly intelligent. With all the gear the cops have, you’d have to be brilliant to outsmart them for as long as they are sometimes outsmarted. Most serial killers get captured because they want to. They too need glory and fame and you can’t get that being holed up in a basement writing anonymous letters to the newspaper. Ted Bundy, convicted of murdering dozens of young women across the U.S., had a bachelor of science in psychology. Saddam Hussein had a law degree. So explain to me again how intelligence and education equals respect?
To stress even further, I once worked for a company whose profits were in the multi million dollar range. Being a grade 12 graduate made me the most “educated” of the bunch. Yet we four bumbling idiots managed to operate that company like a well-oiled machine on daily basis, all the while watching it grow and grow. The owners, born geniuses, didn’t even complete high school. Go figure.
The point is, under no circumstances should somebody with a university degree be shown any more respect for that reason alone than you would provide anybody else. That’s just plain ridiculous.
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Material Possessions
This kind of goes along with money. Considering that many of the people driving the Jags got them through birthright, deceit, some other less-than-honourable means, or a high-interest loan, it would be crazy to respect somebody just because their car has a higher sticker price than yours or their house more square footage. Take a minute to really think about it and you’ll see how dumb that sounds.
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Respect in the Workplace
In a lot of places of employment, the size and elegance of your office somehow determines your worth as a human being. Again that’s gonna take some explaining. This was Hitler’s office:
See how that doesn't make sense?
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Power
What is power? Some say it’s knowledge, which I suppose is true. However there are different kinds of knowledge and different kinds of power. You could have the type of power to control somebody, otherwise known as blackmail. Be assured a person pays for that type of behaviour somewhere down the line and be equally assured it’s no reason to show respect. Fear is more the word for that. The way to counteract this behaviour is to strive to have no secrets. I’m convinced harbouring secrets is one of the top five causes of cancer. Always remember there is not one single person on the face of the earth who hasn’t done something they’re ashamed of. If you can stand up to your faults and foibles head on and take your falls along with it, you will start to feel what true freedom really is. No fear, nothing to hide, no control, zero power. This is a favourite adage:
Be who you are and live your life
Those that mind don’t matter
And those that matter don’t mind
The workplace is a different situation, there are those who like to hold your job over your head and if you’ve got a family to support or a mortgage to pay then they will eat you for breakfast. This is where you have to decide what’s most important. Having the new SUV or eating 3 squares a day? There’s a billion ways to find pleasure and contentment that don’t cost a dime. If you don’t mind washing dishes for a living, which would provide the basic necessities, and instead opt for the six-figure salary that buys the SUV, then you will indeed experience your fair share of power mongers and will certainly be expected to at least depict an essence of respect. Mongers don’t care if the respect or admiration is false and sadly most don’t have the capacity to see the difference. So just keep kissing their butts and you should be okay. I personally have trouble sleeping at night after a day of feeding monstrous egos and simply refuse to do it anymore. It literally sucks the life from my soul. I would much rather walk ten miles, uphill both ways, than lower myself to that demeanour in order to have some trendy wheels.
The other kind of power doesn’t come in the form of embarrassing photos or a deep dark secret revealed. It begins with the ability to see past your own needs and help out a fellow human being once in a while. It’s the ability to recognize each member of the human race as no better and no worse a specimen than you, no matter what those with an uppity attitude will try to tell you. It’s the ability to feel true empathy towards another in pain. If you can’t slip into somebody else’s footwear once in a while you’ll never get it.
After that you begin to learn the real power of the universe, which incidentally outranks a blackmailer or any other swindler trying to obtain respect through less-than-admirable means. It’s the knowledge in knowing that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and the understanding of what that really means. In less scientific terms, you get what you give. To be clear, tossing money at somebody is not giving. It’s a means of adding another few inches to your imaginary pedestal. Try this for an experiment, go give a whack of money to somebody who needs to feed their family and have a place to sleep besides under a bench, and never ever tell another living soul about it. That’s a really good place to begin to understand Newton’s law of motion.
And with this knowledge comes a certain sense of power but not in the way most think of power. You won't have authority over somebody else, which to me is akin to empty calories...totally unfulfilling, but you'll have authority over you. Power over your life and your choices and your decisions. Freedom at it’s finest.
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Rant off.
